Zip Day

I was tired, cranky, and feeling outright hostile toward the novel. Weird. So, of course I didn't write a thing.

Much later in the day...

I printed out chapter three, so I can write on it, edit and send it to Kate. She sent me a piece yesterday that was fun reading, and wants to know when she's going to see more from me. *sigh*

Little

To report. I can't fucking TYPE these days. My fingers aren't cooperating - weird. The weekend was pretty boring, really, but I think I'm having a stress reaction. I should be taking herb. Friday I took her to the bar for drinks, ran into Freddie, Eileen and his boyfriend Shaun. Icky people, but Birdie is loyal to old friendships with Freddie and Eileen. Went to see Shrek the Third and were pleasantly surprised. Then watched most of the Battlestar Galactica miniseries till almost midnight. Up and away by 9:00 and worked about eight hours. It rained ALL the way home, then most of the morning/early afternoon Sunday. The gutter fell off the house and the wood is so rotted you can't drive a nail into it. I don't think that's enough of a hint to Birdie that the house is screaming for repair.

No creative feelings AT ALL. We'll see if I wake up/get creative feeling enough to do any typing this afternoon. Kate wants to see stuff, but everything needs a lot of revision.

Oh My God

I walked two batters last night in the game. Vella came out to the mound and threatened to put her shoes on. It got really quiet all over the field because I JUST DON'T DO THAT. It was the end of the game, which was good, because I was totally freaked out.

Don't even remember if I wrote yesterday or not. Of course, yesterday sucked in a most major way, so I wouldn't be surprised to find I did not write. What is it about my having payroll spread out over my desk and peering intently on my screen that draws people to me like flies? Nothing to do today - no one bugging me.

It's Horrible

This week, or at least the way I feel. While Birdie went into the house this morning to get the handful of tampons I forgot to get, I had a little cry. They started with no effort and I had a hard time stopping before Birdie got back out. I feel horrible, and I've felt horrible all summer from one thing after another. Last night it was icepick-through-the-gut menstrual cramps. Birdie is unhappy about something but won't say what. The house isn't near to completion. Money is becoming an issue. Our house is in terrible shape.

And the novel is taking forever to get done. I only wrote about 250 words yesterday, but spent a LOT of time e-mailing back and forth with Kate about life and writing, and with Susan. No work on Earned Run.

Not Too Bad

I had Parker in a bad way in the cab of the garbage truck yesterday while in 296. There was no one there but me, so I had a few minutes of just chugging away, throwing words on the screen. Got to about 500, and Annie popped in the door. She said how wonderful it was that I was still writing, then talked for a good fifteen minutes. Good thing I like her. ;-) I ended up not noticing the time again, but looked up at nearly 700 words and saw it was nearly five minutes after. Damn. I was on a 1000 word day. Oh, well. *happy grin*

Oddly Crappy

I feel like hell today; I think it's PMS, on top of stress about the house, my back, money, not getting things done and the year is flying by, not getting new furniture at my office. That last one has me on the verge of tears. How in the fucking world could I have believed Shea even for a moment? Kay is all smugness - she's got a fucking office and isn't in the middle of the goddamn hallway. I'm looking at jobs again. I told everyone a couple of years ago that my office was the second biggest reason I was leaving, after Terry. Well, the situation hasn't changed a bit, and I'm still not "used" to having people walk up behind me all day, staring over my shoulder, startling the hell out of me at least once a day. Fuck it. Let some numbskull chickie right out of high school have this job.

The book is still going slowly, but going. I'm seriously going to start working on another project, because I already know it's going to take forever to finish Trouble and Ruin, so I may as well work on something else as well - just so long as I don't stop working on T&R. If I ever do stop, I will cease work on everything else until it starts up again.

[later...] Ah HA! I did start my period. Now I feel crappy for real but at least I know why.

Got a great idea for Earned Run while walking to the IMU for lunch. Harmony (my hero) is going to either call or text the bad guy's phone to set off the umpire-scrambing virus, after the bad guys "win" by taking over the control room. They're also going to kill Harmon's boyfriend and shoot Hal the helpful programmer.

Pain

That was my weekend. It's hot out, I worked too hard on Saturday and hurt my back, and I wasn't good for Birdie this weekend. Did the tiniest amount of work on the book yesterday while soaking up some sun in the hammock. Friday I did get some writing done, but it's funny how when Cheryl is gone, ten million fucking people want my time. I always expect it to be quiet when she's not here - why don't I ever remember that's not what happens?

Not Too Shabby

I did about 650 words in a fifteen or twenty minutes up in 296, then ran out of steam. But then I got to work on the outline and fixed it up quite a bit. (Damn near made myself late for a six o'clock game.) Still haven't gone ahead in the plot and gotten it more detailed, but it's getting there. I do have the main bits, but it needs to be fleshed out, so to speak. I'm going to print out the "improved" outline and blue pen it today. I'm thinking I need to do some more hand writing for a while because it may be the spark that has gotten my juices going again.

This and That

A little of this, a little of that. Got some typing done to help save the scribbling, did a few words. I was into doing it, but it was busy all day. Same problem today. How is it that when Cheryl is gone I can't get any writing done because hordes of helpless people descend on my desk?

Got an interesting idea yesterday about a CGUS story, and expanded on it a bit today. I'm thinking of a story set in the Beta Colony (Bcol), of a module collector who rents the original AcolMod (A Colony Module) to a film making company who wants to do a movie about the stowaway. Of course, they have no interest in making it historically accurate (re: Oliver Stone), and then they find out the mod is WAY too small to work on, and it's falling apart from - essentially - radiation poisoning.

Hmmm....what kind of real or imagined conspiracy can be gotten from the stowaway? I need to let this one simmer longer.

Oh, and it occured to me that NAFTA and the Cerian Problem have a lot in common. Back to jstor.com to get a couple of articles. *grin* Why is the research the best part?

Kate's Back!

It was nice to have Kate come back, though bad for her. She's someone I completely trust talking about writing. She'll never make fun of me or try to bring me down, and will answer questions patiently. Yesterday she agreed that keeping the outline up to date is important.

The outline I printed the other day is now covered in blue pen. *g* I wrote some dialogue on it, too. Did some great re-writing yesterday as well, and a really bad thing happened.

I forgot that I was keeping the chapters separate. I started writing in the main text again, then went back to writing in the chapters files and WROTE OVER the main text with it. I haven't had the nerve to look at what damage I've done.

A Glimmer

Of hope that I WILL get this book done - despite not being satisfied with the title - was how many words I wrote yesterday. But I'm lost, so I really need to revisit the outline. I brought it with me from home so I can work on it, and I will do that today.

I'll be in 296 this afternoon, but Carol Kennedy is here, so I'll probably be working while I'm up there. Bummer.

Taking better care of myself. The enormous hemeroid flareup is pretty much over. Next time I'll have to go to the doctor because I'm out of medicine. Dammit. The back is slowly recovering, but it needs to be good by Thursday because I might be playing third base. The knee is way better than it was but man is it sore. I'm a wreck. But last night I did almost ten minutes on the treadmill, and this morning I lifted, stretched a bit and did some pilates. Though very overweight (still not near my worst weight, thank goodness) I'm in pretty good condition if you don't count the owies and injuries.

The Long Long Weekend

My back went out last week. Birdie and I spent Thursday at home, and I couldn't move on Friday. Missed two days of work and a softball game Friday night. That's the first time in ten years my back has done that. I haven't missed it.

No writing. I played Sims on Thursday and Friday I read Fevre Dream.

Saturday worked a bit in the garden and vacuumed, went to the ReStore and found some bargains. Vella's party that night and I had to leave early, after not being fit enough to play cornhole. Sunday worked at the house, but didn't get much done due to ladder avoidance. Then we went to Caesar's where I actually won a little bit of money.

Today I'm going to work on the outline, because I've completely gone away from it. The middle that I'm writing toward bears no relationship to the outline. It needs to simplify, for one thing, because my chapters are actually long enough to hold up having fewer of them. The story will be more simple than I expected. Parker is trying to get home, he finds Kelsey and rescues her, but then they don't trust each other and have problems on top of their problems because of it.

How about this for a title: Dead and Dangerous.

[afternoon] So, at about eleven o'clock I thought I would BRIEFLY work on the outline, but I ended up adding some good stuff to chapter three, concerning the first zombie Parker sees - the clerk in the scuba shop. Did about 650 words, working off and on for a little while. Ahhhh, that's better.

Possible Problem

I've been heating up on the CGUS novel again. Somehow, all the progress I've made on Trouble and Ruin have made me impatient to get to that one, the science fiction set in solar system colonies, possibly called "Common Heritage". Yesterday and today's research has concerned International Commerce Law, Space Law and The Law of the Sea. I've been reading about the 1967 treaty and the Moon Treaty, and, VERY importantly, an article written in 1917 about air space. I'm getting a really good idea about what the hell's going on politically, commercially, etc. in the novel - which of course I can't overty write about.

That's SO frustrating, to have to invest so much time and effort putting together FASCINATING stuff (to me and about five other geeks, anyway) and then using it only as a framework for the "real" book. People like Kim Stanley Robinson or Jerry Pournelle can get away with pages of exposition, but there's no way for me. Uh uh.

Yesterday I was upstairs and started chapter five, which for right now begins with Parker running out of the scuba shop and into even more trouble than he can imagine, being stuck in a small space with a zombie. But then Carol Kennedy wanted me to do some stuff, so I ended up with about three minutes to work. I managed 78 words. Sucks, but I keep telling myself, at least I'm still writing on it, and at least I still want to finish it. I'm now at 13,100 words, which is a typical length short story for someone like Elizabeth Moon.

Keepin On

Still working on it, though at a reduced rate. Considering how slowly I was working on it in the first place... *sigh*

Right now I'm cleaning up the beginning of chapter four, where Kelsey comes out of the shelter. I'm going to push on today, though, and maybe begin the work on either Parker rescuing/meeting Kelsey or introducing the preacher man. Today is 296, so I'll get some writing time.

TGIM

Thank goodness it's Monday. What a long, hard weekend, beginning with both of us being worn out on Friday and nixing out plans to go south and get a head start on the house Saturday morning. We did, however, manage to get up and out of the house in a fairly leisurely way by 8:00 Saturday, which is an hour quicker than normal. So we yard sale'd all the way down, got some cool stuff, and turned a two hour drive into a four hour drive. It was a beautiful day, though, and I got sun, a Millenium Falcon, a cool hat and a new blue bag. My mom had brought her phone and I got her all set up - she seemed really pleased, which is good. Then we settled into a very serious work session. I painted and painted and painted, after weed whacking then showering. It was REALLY hot, so we both suffered. Fortunately, Birdie had brought my ice packs, so I asked her to drive back for a while, which she did even though she didn't want to. We stopped for plants, so we have all the vegetables for the garden, and THEN we drove through a thunderstorm and stopped at Gayla's house to give Baby his IV. The lights wouldn't turn on when we went in. That must have been SOME storm. We did the whole thing by candlelight, wind-up flashlight and - the best light, surprisingly - my cell phone flashlight. *laugh* The only problem was that you have to keep holding down the button to keep that one on. But it was a great light. We got home about eleven, and I slept till almost 9:30. We took it easy till about one o'clock, then started working. I only got to mow for a while, then a quick shower made me quit, whereupon I went out to the garden to help Birdie and of course she yelled at me and I yelled back and we had a NASTY fight so I went in the house and got staggering drunk while ironing shirts. I feel like hell today. But I said something in the fight that really got to her - I told her I didn't want to be a verbal punching bag. She's been yelling at me lately, and half the time we fight she tells me to move out. I think I'm looking at the end of our relationship, and I'd better think about buying my own house.

You'll notice I didn't say a thing about writing. Nothing over the weekend, and some notes in the outline so far today. Parker is going to cement Kelsey's distrust of him by peering at her through the window of the car. He'll be concerned she may have died and become dangerous, and she will think he's checking her out at the most inappropriate time in the history of the world. Hopefully I can play it funny.

TGIF MAN!

Considering the fact the week started with a holiday, it's seemed to last forever. Been really quiet around the office and everyone has had problems not nodding off. I've gotten extremely little writing done, but I have been writing, which is a minor victory. That I'm still interested in finishing the book is a slightly larger victory.

Yesterday in 296 I wrote a little bit more on the Kelsey comes out of the shelter. I'm thinking of skipping on to the next chapter or so because I'm just not into that section right now. Probably what will happen is that I'll blue pencil that part quite a bit on the first revision. And I'm really looking forward to that...having pages and pages and pages and pages of text that I WROTE. Awesome.